What TV Show To Watch Based On Astrological Sign

And Virgos can watch them all just to be thorough.

Hello Readers. It is officially spooky season, and I am here to serve as your spirit guide/stargazer/connection to the great beyond.

Fox / Via giphy.com

I’m taking off my sunglasses to better see in the dark. 

I’m sure you have many questions about your future/love interests/sums of money that may be coming your way soon, but unfortunately all of that will have to wait. I am currently only performing readings concerning television shows.

I have consulted the stars, and they have informed me exactly which new television show you should be watching this fall based on your astrological sign.

Warner Bros. / Via giphy.com

It was a highly mystical, spiritual, and profound process I went through to get these for you. 

Aries (March 21-April 19) – We Are Lady Parts

Saima Khalid/Peacock

Let’s begin with Aries. Not the first sign of the year, but the first of the zodiac (because of course they are.) As the ram, you are bold, initiative takers pressing on into uncharted territory with vim and vigor. You therefore must stream We Are Lady Parts, the new British sitcom about a group of Muslim girls who decide to form a punk rock band. No one tells these sharp-witted talented girls what they can and cannot do. They are blazing trails and refusing to take no for an answer. (Maybe the band is made up only of Aries? Something to investigate). But Aries brash determination often protects a sensitive side, a side that will love the tender moments in this story of friendship and triumphing over adversity. You must watch. The stars are telling you to. 

Watch it on Peacock

Taurus (April 20-May20) – Never Have I Ever

Isabella B. Vosmikova/Netflix/Courtesy Everett Collection

Ah my sweet, sweet Taureans. Many think that because you’re the bull that you are angry and forceful, but we all know you’re romantic softies who love the simple things in life. My consultation with the stars (and TV Guide) therefore have pushed Never Have I Ever in front of my third eye on your behalf. The Netflix comedy just wrapped up its second season, which continues to follow Devi (Maitreyi Ramakrishnan) as she navigates high school, the loss of her father, and her school crushes. The show is sweet and charming (just like a Taurus), and you can easily binge both seasons while curled up under a fluffy blanket with a bowl of popcorn or a cup of cocoa. 

Watch it on Netflix

Gemini (May 21-June 20) – Impeachment: American Crime Story

Tina Thorpe/FX/Courtesy Everett Collection

As a Gemini, you can be a tricky one to read. It’s that twin energy, the intrinsic duality. Some may call it volatile or two-face, but I prefer to think of it as nuanced and complex. You can’t be contained in a box, and neither should your television viewing choices. To that end, the stars are guiding you to the third installment of Ryan Murphy’s American Crime Story. Murphy’s shows are never boring. They’ve got a little comedy, a little drama, some sadness and some spice. This retelling of the Monica Lewinsky scandal is a savory concoction of all those forces with outstanding performances from Beanie Feldstein, Sarah Paulson, and Edie Falco as the secret ingredient. You need a show just as interesting as you are, Gemini, and this tale of political intrigue will hit the spot. 

Rent it on Amazon

Cancer (June 21-July 22) – Scenes from a Marriage

Jojo Whilden/HBO

Cancers are all about EMOTIONS (I would know as a Cancer moon, Cancer rising). If there is one thing you know how to do it is FEEL SOMETHING. You are compassionate and sentimental. You’re always ready to have a good cry. And it is this emotional intelligence that will make you love HBO’s miniseries Scenes from a Marriage. The romantic drama follows Jonathan (Oscar Isaac) and Mira (Jessica Chastain) over the span of their marriage, stopping down at moments of tender love and fiery dissension alike. The pair deliver momentous performances as the couple encounter time, change, and each other, pushing and pulling to awards-worthy effect. Tune in and feel things with them. Cry when they cry. Laugh when they laugh. It is your duty as a Cancer. 

Watch it on HBO Max

Leo (July 23-August 22) – Squid Game

Park Youngkyu/Netflix/Courtesy Everett Collection

Leos (in solidarity with their celestial lion counterpart) are bold, confident, and passionate. You are not here to sit back and relax. You are not here to chill. You are here to lead and be seen. So your entertainment options cannot be quiet and delicate. You need something brash, and Netflix’s new viral survival drama Squid Game is just the choice. 456 players enter the game in hopes that the $45 billion jackpot will rescue them from poverty. The catch: the game’s losers are killed. What unfolds is a high stakes tightrope walk for the players that will leave you on the edge of your seat. There is nothing boring about you, and there is nothing boring about Squid Game

Watch it  on Netflix

Virgo (August 23-September 22) – The Morning Show

Karen Ballard/Apple TV+/Courtesy Everett Collection

Virgos. *laughs nervously* It’s so nice to see you. I’m definitely not terrified by you and your immaculate perfectionism one bit. You are put together, meticulous, and here to do things by the book. If that intimidates other people, that’s their problem and not yours. You need a show, therefore, that is detailed as you are. Something with plenty of moving parts you can dissect and pick through. Might I suggest Apple TV+’s crown jewel now in its dazzling second season? The drama which follows the behind-the-scenes intrigue of a network morning show and its anchors (played by A-listers Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, and Steve Carell) is as intricately complicated as it is fizzy. The back stabbing, alliances, and organizational hierarchy charts will be right up your alley. I would only trust a Virgo to run a morning show, and I trust you’ll enjoy watching one as well. 

Watch it on Apple TV+

Libra (September 23-October 22) – LuLaRich

Amazon/Courtesy Everett Collection

You’re a Libra. You know you’re the coolest sign. You have charm. You have artistry. You have flair. You could be a nerd if you wanted to, but you’ve got too much style for that. You’re interesting and clever and oh so chic, and the stars have provided just the show for you: the MLM-scheme docuseries LuLaRich. You are much too fashionable to have ever worn LuLaRoe clothing, but as a citizen of the world, you’ve certainly heard about the pyramid scheme women’s clothing line popular with stay-at-home-moms in the 2010s. Now the Amazon series investigates the inner-workings of the company and its founders, serving up dishy twist after twist. A trainwreck you can’t quite look away from, the LuLaRoe saga will leave you slack-jawed and with plenty of interesting tidbits for the next cocktail party you breeze into looking fabulous.  

Watch it on Amazon Prime Video

Scorpio (October 23-November 21) – I Know What You Did Last Summer

Michael Desmond/Amazon/Courtesy Everett Collection

You are a Scorpio. You know you’re a bit on the intense side. Scratch that. A lot on the intense side. You’ve got thoughts and feelings and desires and guess what? They aren’t staying trapped inside you. For better or for worse, they are coming out. And it is that passion that could, for example, make a revenge plot VERY appealing. Lucky for you, rather than systematically getting your own revenge, you can watch it happen on screen instead. This brand new Amazon remake of the 1997 film follows a group of teens as they are stalked by a serial killer a year after they covered up a deadly car accident. The whole show is dripping in delicious drama, and you’re going to lap it up. 

Watch it on Amazon Prime Video

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) – Sex Education

Sam Taylor/Netflix/Courtesy Everett Collection

Oh hi there Sagittarians! I have consulted with the stars, and they’ve told me that you are by far and away the best sign of the zodiac (incidentally it is also my sign.) You’re adventurous, optimistic, and energetic. You’re here for a good time and don’t get too bogged down sweating the small stuff. You can be compassionate and quiet when you need to be, but you’re also the life of the party. As such, it is only fitting you enjoy the new third season of Sex Education (perhaps my favorite show on air.) The coming-of-age dramedy, which focuses on the romantic lives of young adults in a British private school, is equal parts lighthearted romp and heartwarming tale of friendship with plenty of practical tips on sex and sexuality thrown in. It’s fun. It’s entertaining. It’s filling the world with optimistic goodness. Just like you. 

Watch it on Netflix

Capricorn (December 22-January 19) – The Underground Railroad

Kyle Kaplan/Amazon/Courtesy Everett Collection

Capricorns just might be the best of us. You’re hardworking. You’re intelligent. You’re sophisticated. But you’re not fussy about it. Perhaps you’re a bit too serious, but sometimes the world needs that. My recommendation for you then is the stunningly beautiful and lushly composed drama The Underground Railroad. The haunting, powerful miniseries about slavery is not an easy sit, but based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel by Colson Whitehead and directed by Oscar-winning auteur Barry Jenkins, it is a gripping, important, and relentless piece of filmmaking. This is not a show to be binged, but one to be watched thoughtfully, one episode at a time. While everyone should watch this masterpiece, not everyone can or will, but you as a Capricorn should. You are strong enough for the task and will be rewarded in the end. 

Watch it now on Amazon Prime Video

Aquarius (January 20-February 18) – Invasion

Macall Polay/Apple TV+

There is something about you Aquarians that is otherworldly. You are brilliant visionaries, but in a way that’s often ahead of its time like someone from the future coming back to give notes to the past. You are creative and offbeat, but in a way the world needs. As a result, you tend to like sci-fi and fantasy, and wouldn’t you know Apple TV+ has a brand new alien invasion drama on their platform and it looks EXPENSIVE. This is not a low budget series, and the beautiful sets and camera shots will appeal to your artistic sensibilities. Perhaps you Aquarians are all actually aliens come from a more sophisticated planet. It would explain an awful lot. 

Watch it now on Apple TV+

Pisces (February 19-March 20) – Schmigadoon!

Apple TV+/Courtesy Everett Collection

Last, but certainly not least, we have Pisces. You are the dreamy creatives, sensitive, kind, and with your head in the clouds. You are the artists, inventors, and storytellers, creating worlds in your mind. As such, it makes sense that your new binge would be about a pair of hikers who stumble upon a magical villiage in the mist. In Apple TV+’s comedy Schmigadoon!, Cecily Strong and Keegan-Michael Key descend upon a town stuck in the Golden Age of musicals. There is singing, dancing, and plenty of good old fashion theater shenanigans. I’d be worried if a Pisces ever stumbled upon this village though. They may never want to leave. 

Watch it now on Apple TV+

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