It’s hard to feel bad for Prince Harry—he is a prince, for goodness sakes, and his beard is so phenomenal in its ruggedness and splendor that it’s said to be physically impossible to look at it directly in person—but, but, it’s tough not to feel a twinge of sympathy for the way in which every report about him in the British press, and seemingly every question he is asked, is imbued with the not-so-subtle subtext of, When’s this guy finally going to get married?
Harry is 31 and, as of recently, seems to be really making the most of his unique position in life. He cavorts with Lady Gaga; he travels around Africa for the summer; he tags along as a third wheel to rugby matches. Yesterday, the guy threw around a football with Dan Marino. Harry has been linked, romantically, in the past few weeks, to two of his exes, Chelsy Davy and Cressida Bonas (with Us Weekly even putting Chelsy and Harry on its cover with an “A PRINCESS FOR HARRY” headline), but Harry hasn’t been photographed with either of them since returning from Africa (the closest we got were shots of Bonas leaving his 31st birthday party). And Harry, who told reporters in May that marriage will “happen when it will happen,” had a similar message for them yesterday, when confronted with the query again.
Harry was asked during his 17-mile trek for Walking with the Wounded on Wednesday whether he was “anywhere near” settling down. His response? “No. There are a lot of things to get done before settling down. Another seven miles to walk now, which I’m not looking forward to . . . 8! Everyone looks forward to settling down, but in the meantime it’s work as usual so let’s crack on.”
Can you really blame Harry for expressing agitation (granted, very royal, polite, measured agitation) at being asked this question for the millionth time, about 10 miles into a 17-mile hike?! Ten miles into a hike, we’re ready to pelt trail mix at anyone who so much as coughs in our presence (note: this is entirely hypothetical, as we have never been on a hike longer than the length of three pop songs). So, Harry actually deserves some credit for taking care of the question and then moving on to discuss his charity work in greater detail, as he did. The guy has a lot of things to get done! Maybe he wants to write a memoir (Tales of a Cinnamon Prince), or record an indie-rock single (“Harry Today, Gone Tomorrow”). Let him live!
Also, we’re not sure why the press is in such a hurry to see Harry settle down; once he gets serious about moving toward marriage, and has to go on fancy gala dates and all of that, you know that beard is disappearing quicker than Kate when she sees Camilla approaching to make small talk at a garden party.