Meghan Markle got emotional while discussing just how badly her mental health was affected during her time in the royal family — and how the ‘institution’ wouldn’t allow her to get help for it.
Meghan Markle admitted to having suicidal thoughts while pregnant with Archie in 2019. “I was really ashamed to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to [Prince] Harry, especially, because I know how much loss he’s suffered” Meghan told Oprah Winfrey. “But I knew that if I didn’t say it, that I would do it. I just didn’t want to be alive anymore. And that was very clear and real and frightening. That was a real and constant thought.”
Meghan claimed that she went to the higher-ups in the royal ‘Institution’ and asked to get help, but was told that she “couldn’t” because it “wouldn’t be good” for the Institution. “I went to human resources and I said I really need help,” Meghan recalled. “I remember this conversation like it was yesterday. They said, ‘My heart goes out to you, because I see how bad it is, but there’s nothing we can do to protect you because you’re not a paid employee of the Institution.’ This wasn’t a choice. [I] e-mailed, begging for help, saying very specifically, ‘I am concerned for my mental welfare.’ And people going, ‘It’s terrible, we see it,’ but nothing was ever done. So [Harry and I] had to find a solution.”
When Oprah asked Meghan to clarify whether she was having “suicidal thoughts” during this time, she confirmed, “Yes,” and said she thought that killing herself would “make it easier for everybody.” She added, “It was very clear and scary. I didn’t even know who to turn to in that. One of the people who I reached out to, who’s continued to be a friend and confidant, was one of my husband’s mom’s best friends — one of [Princess] Diana’s best friends. Who else could understand what it’s like to be inside?”