Welcome back! I seriously can’t believe I’m saying this, but here we are, watching the SEASON FINALE of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City! Time flies when we’re having fun, right, Blurbers? Last week, we got a whole lot of Jen Shah acting like a damn mess, and I have to admit she lost several points with me when she shoved Heather Gay. Is there any possible way for Jen to redeem herself in this episode? That is yet to be seen, so let’s get to it and find out!
After taking in a magnificent view of Salt Lake’s mountain scenery, we start out at Beauty Lab, where Heather wants as many pink clouds and angel wings adorning the new location as possible. Whitney Rose walks in, surveys the scene, and tells Heather, “It looks like you have a lot to do, but good luck!” They brush on the Vegas Trip of Doom, but Heather has a lot on her mind, and she wants to save the drama with Jen until later.
Next, Jen and Lisa Barlow meet up at Lake Effect, and Lisa already has a stern-yet-concerned look on her face. Jen sheepishly orders a vodka, and Lisa gets right into the details of the worst Vegas girls’ trip, like, ever. Jen thanks Lisa for meeting… and being the only one that reached out to her after that fateful voyage. Lisa says the whole thing broke her heart, and she would now like to hear Jen’s side of the story.
Jen thinks her words are constantly being twisted by the other women, and she notes that growing up around all white people in Utah has shaped her into who she is — and how she fights. Lisa asks, “Where can we go from here? Are you going to Heather’s party?” Jen makes it sound like she’s unsure, but let’s be clear here: DUH, of course she’s going to the party.
Lisa gives Jen a good piece of advice: “When you go hot, you leave yourself open to more judgment.” In her talking head, Jen realizes that there needs to be some kind of compromise when it comes to her communication method.
Up in Park City, Seth is impressed with Meredith Marks’ mad culinary skills when she presents him with a cut-up banana in a bowl. “I love this new Meredith!” Seth coos. Oh, to be a fly on the wall in their kitchen before their reconciliation. “Here’s a whole banana, Seth. Just eat it and stop talking to me about Ohio,” is what I envision. Meredith tells Seth about the Vegas ugliness, and she says she’s never had speculation about her marriage be put out there like this. (Erm, sweetie, you’re on a reality show that’s notorious for pitting women against each other. Just sayin’.)
Down in Salt Lake City, Whitney heads over to a salon to meet up with her dad. Steve completed rehab, and now he has an opportunity to audition to teach at a hair school. Whitney volunteers her hair for Steve’s audition, and as he confidently demonstrates his abilities to a room full of people, I keep thinking about how sad it is that he and Whitney are no longer in touch. Steve’s scenes are always such a bummer.
Anyway, back at the Beauty Lab, Meredith checks in with Heather, and for the fourth time this episode, we hear about the damn trip again. Meredith is disappointed and disheartened, and while she has compassion for what Jen has been going through, she just can’t get over Jen’s gossip about her marriage. Heather mentions that Jen was already invited to the party, but she feels pretty defeated about their friendship at the moment. Heather tells us, “Not being appreciated is a huge trigger for me,” and she wonders if it’s time to kick Jen to the curb. Yikes!
Now, we’re at Lisa’s office, and she’s wearing a cute trench-like jumpsuit that I MUST HAVE. The entire Barlow family is in the conference room for a team meeting. (This is pre-pandemic times, so why aren’t her kids in school? Is she bringing them to work on a Saturday?) Anyway, everyone except for Lisa looks bored as hell, but Lisa is determined to make their latest entrepreneurial effort, Frash Waalf, a huge success.
Oh, look! It’s a scene with Mary Cosby that’s not in her closet for the first time in ages! She cheerfully walks into Faith Temple Church, and then she immediately admonishes the band and choir singers for not rehearsing enough. Mary wails to her parishioners, “Why are you daydreaming?!”
After a season of watching Mary berate anybody and everybody she deems beneath her — whether it’s Jen, or her housekeeper Charlinda, and now her loyal flock of worshippers — I would just like to say: GOOD RIDDANCE, YOU AWFUL HUMAN. I know a few Blurbers think she’s great television, and while I love them and respect their opinions, I SERIOUSLY hope Mary is a one-and-doner this season.
Moving along, Sharrieff surprises Jen with a salsa dancing lesson, and you guys… can we just talk about how winsome Coach Shah appears to be? I am officially charmed by his charisma! (If he does anything terrible in the future, I’m probably going to regret saying that.) The couple looks really cute dancing, and it’s refreshing to watch Jen do something besides putting her hands in people’s faces. She defiantly tells us, “Nobody puts Jen Shah in the corner, okay?” Alrighty.
Once they’re done with the salsa lesson, Sharrieff sits Jen down at a table in the middle of the dance floor. Jen is touched by the sweet gesture, and she apologizes for her out-of-control behavior lately. Sharrieff assures Jen that she is not a bad person, and she thanks him for not giving up on her. Sharrieff says, “I love you. You’re my princess forever.” 1, 2, 3, AWWWWW.
It’s the day of Heather’s big bash, and Beauty Lab looks like a pink bomb went off in it. Heather is wearing that dreadful pink dress she picked up in Vegas, and every bit of her undergarments are poking out of that column of Pepto Bismol. Anyway, Heather’s entire family — including her ex-husband and Warren Jeffs lookalike, Billy — are there to support her.
Mary shows up with two Chanel purses strapped to her body, and Meredith arrives in a tuxedo dress and net covering her entire face that I will surely have nightmares about for days to come. Whitney makes fun of Meredith in her talking head by wearing two medical face masks on her face. “This is high fashion. You wouldn’t understand.” HA!
Just about everyone is in the same room for the first time since the Met Gala luncheon, and I am LOL-ing at how pleased Meredith seems to be with her face net. Lisa comes up and asks Meredith how she’s feeling after Vegas, and she mentions that she met up with Jen to flesh things out. Meredith looks taken aback, and she is disappointed that Lisa conversed with someone that hurt her family so badly. Uh oh, there’s a crack in the slick-haired twins’ friendship!
While Mary and Whitney hook themselves up to oxygen tanks, Jen shows off her hideous fur coat on the step-and-repeat. I HATE THAT COAT. Whitney is the first to break the ice with Jen, and she explains, “I tried really hard to come to you, but I don’t want to be treated poorly, and I don’t want toxic friends in my life.”
Jen tells us she’s going to ‘Michelle Obama’ her way through the entire evening, so if anyone goes low, she’s gonna be high. Jen acknowledges to Whitney that not everyone appreciates or understands her method of communication, and it’s something she needs to work on. “I know that I’m f*cked up, and I’m going through a lot, so I shouldn’t have reacted that way, and I’m very sorry.” Whitney thanks Jen for the apology, and then Jen b-lines it to the cookie table.
Heather gathers everyone around for speech time. She does okay at first, but then she unnecessarily brings up her divorce, which must be super awkward for her kids and ex-husband standing right there. Regardless, good for Heather! Her story arc of finding her own identity after divorce and being estranged from the LDS church actually rang true to me throughout the season, and it’s nice to see Heather’s JOURNEY culminate with a new business location.
Meredith starts talking shit about Jen to a random party guest, so of course, Jen walks right up behind her. I’m starting to understand why Meredith wore the face net tonight because her face is red and LIVID when she sees Jen. “How are you doing?” Jen asks. Meredith curtly says she’s alright, and now it’s time for round two of apologies. Jen sounds heartfelt and sincere for the most part, but I sure do hate it when she says, “I would never do anything to hurt you.” Given what happened, we all know that’s actually not true, so that part of Jen’s apology doesn’t mean much.
Meredith — who looks like she wants to tackle Jen — drones, “I need to protect my positive space, and I don’t have room for the negativity right now. And I appreciate everything you’re saying, but I need actions over time to show that the words are true.” Heather walks over and tells Jen they need to talk about Vegas, so Meredith takes this as an opportunity to bail from the table.
Y’all ready for round three? Heather begins, “We’ve been through a lot together, but I’m pissed. When we were in Vegas, we go to the hypnotist… who doesn’t trust Heather? You raised your hand. That was a huge sledgehammer to me. How do I recover from that?” Jen explains that she felt blindsided by Heather in Vegas, which… HOLY CLUELESS! It must be a good release for Heather to dig into Jen because this scene goes on forever. She scolds, “You cannot be like this with me. It makes me feel like a fool and look like a fool.” Lisa walks up to Heather and says, “WHESPER. Can you whesper, please?” Nice try, boss, but Heather’s not finished.
“I cannot move forward unless you own it. You have to admit that you took me for granted, and that’s what I need to hear you say so I can move forward.” Jen cries, “No matter what I say, it doesn’t matter!” Heather screams, “OWN IT, YOU HAVE NOT SHOWN UP FOR ME.” After more back and forth that I’m exhausted writing about, Jen finally tearfully apologizes and the ladies come to a truce.
Afterward, there’s a cute moment where Heather asks Jen for lip gloss, and Jen jokingly snaps, “No! F*ck off, you’re going to have dry-ass lips.” Heather looks at her dead in the eye: “Give me a little lip gloss.” Jen shares the lip gloss, she and Heather hug it out, and Mary Cosby rolls her eyes in the distance. THE END.
Welp! That’s the story of Utah housewives, Blurbers. Jen and Sharrieff have been spending more time together… through FaceTime. Whitney is trying to start a new skincare line that no one asked for. Mary has kept busy by reorganizing her closet. Lisa scheduled a trip to Mexico with her family, and I wonder if it was canceled due to COVID-19. Meredith and Seth have returned to couple’s therapy. And finally, Heather has embraced her new life as a non-practicing Mormon. See you at the RHOSLC reunion next week!
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