Every rose has its thorn… and Colton Underwood and Cassie Randolph’s is sharp!
After a very public breakup that initially seemed amicable in May, but followed with stalking accusations and a restraining order against Colton by September, the Bachelor alum is now revealing all the crazy details that led to the demise of their relationship.
In an additional chapter of his book The First Time, which was released on the star’s 29th birthday on Tuesday, he opened up about his heartbreak:
“Falling in love is like open-heart surgery. Breaking up is like seeing your heart in someone else’s hands and realizing the anesthesia has worn off. Geez, it hurt. The pain was excruciating.”
Not to mention the drama hit the fan as Colton was literally cooped up at home in full-body pain after contracting coronavirus over the summer, from which he learned how important wearing a mask really is.
While the quarantine with Cassie’s family appeared to be all s**ts and giggles (before and after the illness) as both celebs shared their lives extensively on social media, the former NFL player shared that time was a boiling point in their relationship:
“Cass felt there was pressure on her to commit one way or the other because of the way our relationship unfolded so publicly on television. I tried to give her space. She didn’t feel like I saw all the different sides of her, especially the small-town girl who liked the slow pace and quiet of her beachside hometown. Sometimes she would say outright, ‘I feel like you don’t understand me.’”
But even as he got to know the Randolphs on an intimate level, things didn’t improve as he grew healthier.
“It was when Cass and I finally tried to grab back a bit of normalcy that I realized the virus was only part of a much larger problem. After more than a month of being cooped up in her family’s home, both of us were feeling overwhelmed and smothered and eager to return to our respective apartments where we could enjoy our own space. Before we left, though, she took me aside and told me she was struggling with everything in our relationship and didn’t know what to do. My head spun like one of those characters in a cartoon. What? She was struggling with everything?”
But the Coffee with Colton host’s reaction to this moment of honesty from his girlfriend shows just how many red flags there were within their romance. He added:
“I put my finger to my lips for silence. She stopped mid-sentence. Both of us had always agreed to avoid finishing hard conversations like this one. We didn’t want to come to the conclusion that we weren’t good for each other. We were scared of confronting that truth. So we didn’t.”
We get avoiding confrontation but this seems like a major no-no for a successful, long-term partnership, right?? You gotta be able to hash it out from time to time, especially when someone brings such vulnerability to the table like this.
Rather than have a heart to heart, the couple fled to St. Lucia to celebrate their first anniversary, but the tides didn’t turn. Colton reflected:
“[The relationship] was essentially over save for the three magic words, ‘We’re breaking up.”
So the pair went their separate ways following the 25-year-old’s birthday in April, but still spoke occasionally:
“Our conversations were delicate check-ins. We were friendly but real. She wanted to talk about how to move forward and remain friends, while I held on to hope that we could get back together after some time passed. Finally, Cass called and said she wanted us to make a public statement about our breakup. Our Instagram accounts were filled with speculation about our status, and she wanted to put it to rest.”
If it weren’t for the aspiring speech-language pathologist’s determination to call it quits, the couple would probably still be stuck in the in-between since Colton had no intention of ever making a public announcement:
“You don’t need to be a therapist to understand why I was so resistant. I didn’t want to break up. I didn’t want to accept that Cass wanted to break up with me. I didn’t want it to be over. I didn’t want any of this to be real.”
But get this! Even with the breakup final, the pair were still hanging out! They cried on FaceTime together as they posted their statements and then:
“Afterward, she came back to my place, where we had a few drinks, hung out, and we were Colton and Cass again the rest of that night. Then, when we woke up the next morning, I could tell everything was different. I had the urge to say I love you before she walked out the door, and I sensed she did, too. No door shut that softly has ever made a louder sound.”
Sounds as incredibly messy as it felt from an outside perspective!
And while these honest, emotional reveals seem devastating, the reality TV personality is on the mend, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel as he expressed:
“I think I’m headed in the right direction and letting my faith shine the biggest light on where I need to go. I also love that this last chapter is only the next chapter.”
Phew! Obviously Colton coming out with his side of the story is meant to gather fan sympathy, and we can only wonder if he’ll dive deep into his allegedly manipulative behavior surrounding their messy breakup. Placing a tracker on her car?? Claiming to have the same stalker when it was you the whole time??
How do you feel about this new tell-all, Perezcious readers? Do you think Cassie’s side of the story would hold up the same? Spill your thoughts in the comments (below)!