In case y’all haven’t been paying attention… now is not a good time to defend Armie Hammer‘s alleged actions.
Over the weekend social media was flooded with screenshots of DMs the Call Me By Your Name star allegedly sent numerous women over the past few years, discussing sexual encounters — which would be cheating on his now-estranged wife Elizabeth Chambers. The messages also included shocking references to blood play, violence, and, yes, cannibalism.
We can only assume Bella Thorne has not been paying enough attention to this scandal as it’s grown beyond that because on Thursday she took to Instagram to defend the hunky actor, writing:
“I honestly can’t believe this… people are crazy to fake this kinda s**t this poor guy and his kids like leave him and his family alone. No way he’s a freaking CANNIBAL…..”
Sure, on Sunday evening, when the trending topic on Twitter said Armie’s alleged DMs referred to cannibalism, that seemed like a ridiculous, far-out lie some creative jerk manufactured. The new Richard Gere gerbil rumor.
But this is the problem with forming an opinion based solely on headlines. The real issue was never the references to cannibalism and vampirism, disconcerting and numerous though they may be.
[Trigger Warning: Emotional Abuse]
In those messages, Armie (if indeed the messages are from him) mentioned specific past acts that were not presented as metaphor or flowery foreplay. One read:
“Raping you on your floor with a knife against you. Everything else seemed boring. You crying and screaming, me standing over you. I felt like a god. I’ve never felt such power and intensity.”
Notice how it’s oddly specific and in the past tense. This reads like an act of aggression carried out on a sexual partner. And the language of the “cannibalism” messages isn’t some cutesy “I’m gonna eat you up” stuff. It contains all-too-realistic descriptions of violence against women:
“I’m going to c*m thinking of breaking your bones… Text me about me breaking your bones while raping you. And I’ll send you the voice note while I c*m while reading it… My c**k is in my hand. And I’m thinking of breaking your ribs.”
We aren’t ones to kink shame. Even the strangest eroticism has its place between consenting adults. But we have to look at this in context.
The leaked screenshots are also full of messages demanding subservience from these women and threatening violence, both sexual and not. This is about a pattern of abuse which has been alleged by the woman who leaked these messages through the IG account House of Effie. She has claimed the women who gave her these messages were all part of Armie’s pattern.
Now we’ve just crossed the tipping point where women who dated Armie are beginning to speak out with their names attached. A couple responded to the Twitter controversy — in support of the victims. If they believe this is all real, there must be a reason, right?
And one ex, an app designer named Courtney Vucekovich, who was known to have dated Hammer immediately after his split from his wife, has actually come forward and described emotional abuse she suffered throughout the relationship. Yes, that included a scary amount of talk of cannibalism, she says, but that was just a part of it. According to her account, it was about intimidation, domination, and crushing a woman’s agency. She discussed how he groomed her, eventually manipulating her into “doing things that are very out-of-character for you, including s*x acts.”
And there’s where we come back to that idea of what’s OK between consenting adults.
Vucekovich claimed she sought therapy after the relationship. The woman behind House Of Effie also talked about numerous women she spoke to being traumatized. What they’re describing isn’t kink. That’s abuse. And that’s what people need to understand before they jump on the defense any time they read about actions like this from anyone.
Oh BTW, Bella did have one other point in her IG Story:
“Also there’s a million fake screen shots going around.”
That is 100% true. For instance there’s the fake ones of House Of Effie recanting and saying she made the whole thing up. Those are pretty clearly fake.
We don’t know for certain about the Armie Hammer ones, but we do know we have at least one very real person on the record as having experienced alleged abuse that matches up pretty closely with those screenshots.
What about YOU, Perezcious readers? Do you still think everything we’re hearing about Armie is all fake, and it’s “crazy” to even talk about??