I don’t know about you, but somewhere between 25%–40% of the reason I watch horror movies is to take notes — just in case I find myself in the sort of situation Hollywood might make a horror movie about.
This is especially true for the Scream movies. I’ve probably watched each of the first four around a dozen times, give or take a few, and as a result, I like to think I’d stand a fighting chance in the face of a killer (or at the very least manage to get a few good jabs in there).
To gear up for the latest entry in the franchise, here are some of the things I’ve learned from watching (and rewatching) the Scream movies over the years.
Never be alone in a giant house with no neighbors within walking (or running) distance.
Never answer the phone.
Always assume the killer is in the house.
If there’s a killer on the loose, it’s not the time to party.
If you are going to party, don’t go wandering off by yourself.
Always make sure the safety is off.
Don’t eavesdrop on people in the bathroom.
If you have a chance to unmask the killer, just go for it.
Forget unmasking and just kill him.
If the killer is trying to make you do one thing, do the opposite.
Always keep an extra weapon handy.
If you’re playing with guns, use a bulletproof vest.
Just because you can go home again doesn’t mean you should.
Never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, “I’ll be right back.”
And last but not least: Don’t assume the killer is dead.
Share some of your favorite lessons from the Scream movies in the comments!
The fifth installment takes place 25 years after the original and finds Sidney, Dewey, and Gale teaming up with a new generation to take on a new Ghostface. See Scream in theaters January 14.